so, most of my friends are in their 30's and after school and careers and marriages are set in place, are now wanting to hatch some kids. i'm in the same boat. and currently (blessedly) 5 1/2 months pregnant.
but, most of us found that getting pregnant was not just a matter of making googly eyes at each other as we feared during our dating years. it actually takes some effort. we're talking calculating ovulation days based on temperature, cervical mucous (yep!), and daily peeing on a stick. we're talking timed intercourse THAT HAS TO HAPPEN RIGHT NOW even if one or both of you would rather stick a fork in your eye than do it. we're talking possible hormone therapy, invasive procedures and embarrassing doctors appointments.
not the most sexy of sexin', right?
it's hard. it's a challenge to stay focused on each other and avoid frustration, resentment, maybe even placing blame when you're struggling for this thing that you want so much. sex easily becomes a chore and not a pleasure. there is a purpose other than its own innate gain, and that can certainly get in the way of the love that you share and the enjoyment of the act.
the more you struggle to conceive, the more you'll need each others comfort. and sex is a great form of comfort. or just holding each other, cuddling. stay connected and close as best you can. and as always, talk, talk, talk. if you're feeling ashamed or depressed or angry- discuss it.
and take heart. this won't last forever. at some point you will be back to sex for sex' sake.
and you might be knocked up when that does happen. sexin' while pregnant is an interesting, bizarre experience. you are pregnant for a total of 40 weeks. the first 12-20 of them, you feel like puking all the time, which doesn't really lead to sex. the second 20-30 of them, you might feel less nauseous and may even have some horn, but your boobs and back hurt, you're gassy and bloated and you're getting chunky monkey and less than attractive. and then the last 10 weeks you are powerless to even pull your boots on when getting dressed in the morning, much less give your spouse any good good lovin'. and that is a total of 10 months of challenges interfering with sex. after God knows how long it took you to get prego in the first place.
again, take heart. it won't last forever. do what you can do when you do feel up to it. both of you be patient and loving and giving to each other and know that these changes are temporary and don't reflect your feelings for each other. somewhere under that mu-mu and heartburn there is a sexy woman who will find her way out eventually. just be patient.
until next time, happy sexin', everybody!!
