Grey Matter

it's been 5 months since my last post?! sorry about that. life gets away from you so easily, doesn't it?

anyway...i hope everyone has been having some awesome sexin' in my absence. mine, since you asked, is getting back on track after a looooong baby-induced dry spell.

but, hark! there is all kinds of sex in the news and we should be talking about it  even if my land is in drought doesn't mean it's not growing season elsewhere. (and for all concerned parties, my marriage is fine, we're just still adjusting to life with baby and i'm still getting on the pregnancy/breast feeding hormone roller coaster that encourages you to get on...but not to get off. :)

get it? see how i did that? :)

anyway....enough about me and my (woeful lack of) sex life! let's talk about yours!!

it seems that the whole country is knockin' da boots right now, all thanks to a little series of books called "Fifty Shades of Grey" by E.L James.

i have not read it, but from what i understand, it's a little love story about a rich business tycoon who is into S & M (sadomasochism) and whose current 'partner' is a young, virginal student or some such. there is sex scene after sex scene, many involving rather forceful/violent sex and there is a contract between them that apparently covers all that they can/can't do together, safe words, etc?

and i have a lot of female friends who have read this erotic fiction and are getting all  frothy at the mouth over it. there are those who tell tales about reading it on the kindle while standing in line at the grocery store and just PRAYING no one is reading over their shoulders or watching them sweat...

*please watch this SNL fake commercial on the same subject*

i haven't read it and don't think i will, for two reasons. 1- i don't want to encourage myself fantasizing about violent sex. i don't like that small part of me that thinks being thrown around is hot. i think it's a sexist and potentially catastrophic way that the porn industry has influenced what we think normal sex should be like. and 2- i've heard it's really bad writing. not much more scintillating or clever than the other danielle-steel-milky-white-bosom garbage out there.

ON THE OTHER HAND...i know of many marriages that have been positively influenced (read: they are shagging like especially horny bunnies) by the wife reading these books. and that's a great thing! and a quick wikipedia glance at the author's life says she's been married for over 20 years...so, maybe a little S & M fantasy doesn't hurt anything. (provided you're being safe and both partners are entirely on board and you don't become too dependent on the role playing, etc, etc).

whatcha think? has anyone out there actually read the books? am i just talking out of my arse, since all i'm going by is hearsay?

thoughts?

Long Dry Spell.

sorry to anyone who has hung on through my months of absence or who found the blog, liked it and then gave up since i was MIA.

i had a baby. he's great. best thing ever.

frankly haven't had much interest in sexin' for the last many months, but now i'm back! and even though you likely do not feel the same level of jubilation that my husband has at that news, maybe you'll look forward to more posts. :)

so, the first thing i'd like to know is who's out there and what you're interested in talking about. i think this blog should be an open dialogue on sex and marriage and God's part in all of it. so please comment with questions/suggestions/topics. we're all friends here and you can easily be anonymous, so do not be afraid to share whatever's on your mind.

also, has anyone read Mark and Grace Driscoll's "Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together?" apparently it was #1 on new york times best seller list. i have not yet read it, but again, i've been living under a baby rock.

i actually heard about it because of this article on the cnn belief blog. it should come as no surprise that the Christian community was somewhat divided on the book, especially on those topics pertaining to bow-chicka-wah-wah.

even in the context of a loving marriage, centered around God, people are still freaked out about sex. based on the reactions, i would have thought the jacket cover of the book would involve a horse, a shirtless long-haired man who loves fake butter and a lady with milky white parts sticking out...but it's just a cute bride and groom wedding cake topper. with their pants on.

so, how do we fix this? what could we accomplish if we removed the sex taboo? how would Christian marriages change? how might the church change?

thoughts?

until next time, happy sexin', everybody!