THE INTERNET IS FOR PORN

read this interesting article about how porn effects our sexual relationships. it's well written and makes some great points. i don't endorse using video/ images of porn even with your partner (as the article suggests), since i think there's a lot of degradation and abuse in the porn industry, and i also think your spouse should be your fantasy, your sexual focus and purpose.

also, do enjoy the following video. the song is from the musical "avenue q" and the cartoon is from the "world of warcraft." heelarious.

So He Wants You to Do a Strip Tease While Dressed Like a Teletubby...

so the question was- "Is There Such a Thing as Sexy Sexins' with Your Spouse That Are Off Limits?" check out my last post....and the comment below from some dutiful reader. (thank you, dutiful reader!)

Anonymous- "First of all, that comic is hilarious. Secondly, I believe God is clear about one thing: the marriage bed is holy. What couples desire to in bed (use of toys, apparently a man wearing his wife's bra, whatever does it for ya) should be an open discussion and if anyone is uncomfortable with anything it's simply off limits until that changes. There are circumstances of one person serving the other, but a spouse should never be pushing through discomfort. When gettin' it on with your spouse, it should be sexy/fun, of course, but I do believe it should be centered on comfort and love (and never include other people mentally, through the media, or otherwise). Could discuss this much longer, but there are my basic thoughts:)"

anonymous- i couldn't agree more. you said everything that i was going to say. i have heard people voicing concerns that their partners' proclivities are strange or unsure if they're somehow impure. but i agree. provided it stays between the two of you and you're both agreeable and comfortable with it, it's game on. the line blurs when you get into role playing. does playing another version of yourself or a whole new person take you outside the intimacy of your bond? it certainly can. especially if one of you requires the other to be a new persona to achieve/sustain arousal. and if you find that you're ALWAYS requiring some sort of game and that it's not just an occasional, unusual occurrence, evaluate to see if you're bored or searching for something else and talk about it. if sex has to be a big production with fan fare and such every time, i imagine you'll do it less often, less spontaneously, and perhaps not at all once busy life gets in the way. and using porn is clearly inviting other people into your bed. sexy images can really help get it steamy, but maybe discuss fantasies with each other and put those images in your head. i know some couples have taken photos/video of themselves, and although i would proceed with extreme caution with that (i mean, i'm sure kim kardashian and paris hilton thought their loving sexual encounters would only be enjoyed by their true loves, also), that could be another option.

so, don't be afraid to explore with each other. sometimes discuss your 'weird/quirky' thoughts and desires and see what the two of you can make of them together. do not be judgmental, but rather open and loving and respectful, so that you can continue to share into the future.

Is There Such a Thing as Sexy Sexins' with Your Spouse That Are Off Limits?

are there things that just shouldn't be allowed between consenting spouses? things that would hurt or bother God?

thoughts on this? are there limitations within a marriage bed about what is sacred and pure and what is sinful?

anyone have any opinions? before i give mine, i'm curious what y'all think....